Dimitri's thoughts and feelings
by Needle In My Eye
Summary: The more I thought about her the more and more I fell in love with her. I'm a lost cause. I really am.  Dimitris POV first Vampire Academy fanfic soo please review oh and its OOC
1. Page 121

Heyyy everyone.. this is my first Vampire's Academy story... i have fallen in love with the series :)

So most of this is the dialogue from the book from Dimitri's POV

Please understand that this is OOC... oh and it is from Vampire's Academy pages 120-121

Enjoy and review at the end :)

Love Emilijah and the girls xox

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I stormed into the room, angry at the fact that Rose had willingly let another boy take advantage of her. I saw the boy, not taking notice of Rose. I marched up to him and grabbed him by the collar, nearly picking him up from the ground.

"What's your name?" I asked angrily

"J-Jesse, sir. Jesse Zeklos, sir." He replied fearfully.

Zeklos? As in _Ivan_ Zeklos. That made it slightly worse.

"Do you have permission to be in this part of the dorm?" I asked.

"Umm, no sir."

"Do you know the rules about male and female interactions around here?" I asked. Do you know the rules about male interactions with Rose around here? You're not ever going to be involved with her. Not while I'm around.

"Yes sir."

"Then I suggest you get out of here as fast as you can before I turn you over to someone who will punish you accordingly. If I ever see you like this again," with Rose, I wanted to mention. But that would be highly inappropriate so I gestured to where she was curled up on the couch. "_I_ will be the one to punish you. And it will hurt. A lot. Do you understand?" I finished angrily. I will make his life a living hell.

"Yes, sir!" He said, his face had gone pale and his eyes had widened. I had obviously scared him off. Good.

"Then _go_."

I released him, and he sprinted out of the room, faster than I had seen a Moroi move.

I turned to Rose, ready to yell at her. I disapproved of how she was acting and I was angry at the fact that she was giving her body away. Then I saw what she was wearing. Or rather, what she wasn't.

She was wearing skinny jeans that appeared to make her long legs even longer, and she wasn't wearing a top. Only a black bra. I nearly drooled.

I studied her body. How I wanted to have been that Jesse boy. To be able to wrap myself up in her arms and hold her close to me.

I imprinted this image to my memory, knowing that I would probably dream of this tonight. I would most likely enjoy this dream.

She started to blush, and that made me feel all the more aroused. She was so innocent and gorgeous and beautiful. I was lost in my little world that consisted only of Rose.

"You see something you like?" She asked me, all of a sudden flirty and fiery.

"Get dressed" I forced my face to show no emotion. She automatically reacted to that and got dressed.

"How'd you find me? You following me to make sure I don't run away?" She asked, trying to make this awkward situation a little less awkward. If that was even possible.

"Be quiet," I snapped at her, leaning down so we were eye-level. She was close to the truth. I _was_ following her, because I wanted to know that she was safe. I felt like such a stalker.

"A janitor saw you and reported it. Do you have any idea how STUPID this was?" My blood boiled just at the thought of another boy being close to her in the way I wanted to be.

"I know, I know, the whole probation thing, right?"

"Not just that. I'm talking about the stupidity of getting in _that_ kind of situation in the first place." Especially with a Moroi boy.

"I get in _that_ situation all the time, Comrade. It's not a big deal." She suddenly got angry. I was treating her like a child. But sometimes she acted like one, not realising the consequences.

"Stop calling me that." Oh please keep calling me that. "You don't know even what you're talking about."

"Sure I do. I had to do a report on Russia and the R.S.S.R last year."

Did you even pass? She was adorable. Geez get these thoughts out of my head.

"_U_.S.S.R. And it _is_ a big deal for a Moroi to be with a dhampir girl. They like to brag."

"So?"

"_So_?" I was disgusted at the fact that she had so little respect for herself. "So don't you have any respect? Think about Lissa. You make yourself look cheap. You live up to what a lot of people already think about dhampir girls, and it reflects back on her. And me."

Especially because I love you so much already, and it hurts that you would do this to yourself. And, also that you are my student. I added the last part as a sort of mental note

"Oh, I see. Is that what this is about? Am I hurting your big, bad male pride? Are you afraid I'll ruin you reputation?" She asked again. She was so immature at times, and this was made particularly obvious by tonight's activities.

"My reputation is already made, Rose. I set my standards and lived up to them long ago. What you do with yours remains to be seen." I got angry again and I commanded her to go to her room, without meeting anyone else.

Didn't she see that I cared about her? About what other people thought of her?

After our long conversation, I retired to my room. I thought long about our discussion and released that this…. _affection_ that I held for Rose, was getting out of control.

I am 7 years her senior, and her mentor, her teacher. I couldn't be her lover. Not when she was still only a child.

The memory of her, wearing only her bra and jeans came to the top of my mind again. I sighed. I was to attracted to her for my own good. And hers.

She deserved someone who could love her and shower her in presents and jewels.

I couldn't do that.

Not when we were to be guardians. But, I couldn't stop.

The more I thought about her the more and more I fell in love with her. I'm a lost cause. I really am.

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Sooo what do you think? Please leave a review!

Oh and this will probably be continued by other chapters on other Rose/Dimitri parts in the series from Dimitri's POV starting with the rest of the first book...

If you love a specific part in the series send me a review with the page numbers and the title of the book :)

Love Emilijah and the girls xox


	2. Page 141

This is the second chapter.. its really really short. Its from page 141

Enjoy :)

Love Emilijah and the girls xoxo

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She groaned. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

I nearly laughed. She was such a child sometimes. I looked into her eyes and I held her wrists. "The battle cry sort of gave you away. Try not to yell next time."

"Would it have really made a difference if I'd been quiet?"

I thought for a moment. I did have really good reflexes.

"No. Probably not."

She sighed really loudly, her breath blowing on my face. I occurred to me that I was still holding her to the ground. And she was incredibly close.

Her whole body was pressed on mine, making me feel things that shouldn't be felt for a student. But I was kidding myself. I really did love her. My hair was hanging around my face, but she seemed to like it. Maybe I should wear my hair out more often, I thought.

I saw the look in her eyes, the complete adoration for me, and I wondered if the same expression showed in my eyes. I completely adored this beautiful creature. Much more than I should. Her face was red from the close contact, and I realised that she was having trouble breathing. I wasn't squashing her. She must be hyperventilating.

I smiled at her, and heard her sharp intake of breath. She then smiled back at me in a very cheeky and an incredibly Rose kind of way.

"So, um… you got any other moves to show me?"

She was trying and failing to seem calm about this situation. I nearly smiled at that thought. But I forced the smile down. Now was not the time. I put my guardian face back on, and shifted off of her, trying not to rub myself any more than I could against her.

I leaned back on my heels, already missing the contact between our bodies. I immediately shook that thought from my head. I rose and turned to her.

"Come on. We should go." _Before I do something else that I'm gonna regret later._

Later on I was back in the training room, beating the hell out of the punching bag. I didn't know what to do. To act on my thoughts and feelings, or to push them aside and to pretend they never existed. Both were easier said than done, I knew that. There was a third option. I could leave. I could apply to be someone else guardian. That way I would never see her again.

I stopped punching the bag. I couldn't do that to myself. Not when just seeing her made me happy. It would make me depressed. So much so that it would cause distractions and make it easier for the Strigoi to pass me.

I really am messed up, I realised with a groan. I sank to the floor. Not only am I in love with a child, but I'm a Guardian. I shouldn't be falling in love with any one!

I groaned again. Seeing her tomorrow is only going to make things worse.

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Please read and review!

Love Emilijah and the girls xox


	3. Page 181

So this is page 181-187 of Vampire Academy. I couldn't be bothered to write out the whole conversation that goes on cos i figured if you wanted to read it you'd read the book... anywayz enjoy :)

Love Emilijah and the girls xox

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I started the training session with running. I ran with her, hoping that she wouldn't have a melt down. When we finished the laps, I told her to attack me in anyway that she could with any makeshift weapon. She landed a few blows on me, but rather than hurting me they seemed to effect her more, making her stagger backwards. I finally called a break. She had worked hard that morning.

I did a quick look over on her, trying to make sure that she was ok. Then I saw her hands. I did double take.

"Your hands." I swore in Russian. The cold had made her skin raw, blistered and chapped and they were bleeding a little. "Where are your gloves?"

I was worried more than a Teacher should worry about their student, and that scared me a little.

"Don't have any. Never needed them in Portland." Rose shrugged, as if it made perfect sense.

I swore again and gestured to a chair while I got the first aid kit. I wiped away the blood with a wet cloth as gently as I could, and said, "We'll get you some."

"This is only the start, isn't it?"

I paused for a minute. What was she talking about? "Of what?"

"Me. Turning into Alberta. Her… and all the other female guardians. They're all leathery and stuff. Fighting and training and always being outdoors- they aren't pretty anymore." She paused and I thought over what she said. I almost shuddered at the mental image that came to mind. Alberta, with Rose's face. It just seemed wrong. And then I said to myself. It won't ever happen to her.

She stopped talking, and I realised that I had missed out on what she just said. There was a short period of silence and I looked up from her hands. I looked over her beautiful face. _No, _I thought. _It won't happen to you. You're too…_

Then I saw the look on her face. Damn. I voiced my thoughts out-loud. I tried to find a word to put in there that didn't make this whole situation awkward.

"It won't happen to you." I finished lamely, not being able to find the right word. I turned back to her hands, and continued cleaning them.

"It happened to my mom. She used to be beautiful. I guess she still is, sort of. But not the way she used to be. Haven't seen her in a while. She could look completely different for all I know."

"You don't like your mother," I said.

We continued our conversation about her family, until we started talking about my family.

I continued to rub her hands, even though I had finished a while ago.

A smile appeared on my face. One I had no control over.

"You don't know your father, do you?"

She shook her head. "No. All I know he is he must have had wicked cool hair."

I looked up at her, and my eyes swept over her. God I love her hair. It was beautiful and brown and soft and…. I looked back down at her hands. "Yes, he must have. I knew mine."

I could feel her tense up. "Really? Most Moroi guys don't stay- I mean, some do, but you know, usually they just-"

I cut her off. "Well, he _liked _my mother." I said angrily. "And he visited her a lot. He's my sister's father too. But when he came… well, he didn't treat my mother very well. He did some horrible things."

Like blood whore things? She asked me. Beating her up sort of things I replied to her. Not really wanting to talk bout it anymore.

"Tell me, _tell me_ you beat the crap out of him." I could hear the excitement laced through her voice. My small sad smile grew.

"I did."

Wow. You beat up your dad. I mean, that's really horrible… what happened. But, _wow_. You really are a god."

I blinked. "What?" Did she just say what I thought she said? Did she think I was a god? I must have misheard her. But, thinking that she thought I was a god made me feel… well happy.

"Uh, nothing. How old were you?" She asked, trying to cover up for the last sentence.

"Thirteen." I replied still thinking about the God comment.

We continued our conversation, until I said something stupid.

"I don't know if I can do everything I have to do." She said.

I lifted one eyebrow, quizzical.

"I don't want to cut my hair." I don't want you to either.

I put on a puzzled face. "You don't have to cut your hair. It's not required."

"All the other guardian women do. They show off their tattoos.

I released her hands and leaned forward. I reached out and took a lock of her hair and twirled it around my finger thoughtfully. It was as soft as I thought it would be. She froze under my touch. I let her hair go, a tad embarrassed at my actions and surprised that I actually acted on my emotions.

"Don't cut it." I said sharply.

"But no one'll see my tattoos if I don't." She complained.

I moved to the doorway, our training session finished. I smiled slightly at the way only Rose could look so adorable and yet be complaining at the same time.

"Wear it up." I said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

As I walked out, I thought I saw a faint blush on her cheeks and a slight smile on her face. I smiled even more. That was a good training session.

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Sooo what do you think? Please Review

Love Emilijah and the girls xox


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